Monday, February 11, 2008

Frustrations

As you all know I've been going through a little battle with pain. I've tried many treatments and meds to take care of this. I have found one medicine that works great. It's called Topamax. It's actually an antiseizure medicine. It works well with nerve pain, which is what I have. I love the fact that I don't have to take pain pills anymore. It's freaking awesome. I've been on pain pills for 3 years. I was so happy to find something that I could take that really took my pain away.
Unfortunately this medicine has been coming with some yucky side effects. I can't wake up at all on this medicine. It gives me the worst medicine hang over ever. I also get some really yucky tingly fingers and toes. Oh and no appetite whatsoever. Which in turn makes me feel all slugish and weak. I do make myself eat. But the feeling tired all the time is starting to get to me. I don't it every once and awhile, but all the time, it gets to me. I'm hoping all of this will go away after I adjust to my new dose.
I hate how this whole situation has been such a battle for me. I know that I am lucky. I know that there are people in the world that have it was worse of than me. They have so many things wrong that my problem really isn't that bad. But some days, it really is for me. There are some days that yeah, my pain still is bad and I don't want to get off the couch. I hurt and it sucks. If surgery wasn't so risky I would do it again.
I do try not to let this get to me. Some days are good, some days are bad. I guess today is just a down day because I woke up late with tingly hands.

3 comments:

Fish said...

Here lately i've been preaching the power of the mind and am against the use of alot of medications including pain pills, anti-depressants, and psych drugs. Sorry it was a bad day for you Nikki. I'm glad to hear you have gotten off the pain pills and found something else. I can't judge your pain versus mine as I understand each person's pain tolerance level is different. However I have just learned to live with mine and accept that as I get older I will have some kind of pain. On any given day I wake up with swollen knees or ankles from years of playing sports, headahces, backaches, achy joints and muscles, etc, etc...I remember when I broke my arm I slept on a couch for 5 hours before getting medical attention. I can't even count how many sprained ankles, pulled muscles I've had that i just treated with heat and ice and no more. If you cannot get the surgery then I think this pain is something you will just have to accept as part of your life and try to block it out. Possibly with more strength training and yoga you can move past having to have any medications and not be bothered by side effects.

Leigh said...

I am sorry you are having a bady day. You are a tough cookie Nikki and inspiring to me. I can't imagine living with physical pain daily. You are of course allowed to have a down day! If you need anything let me know. HUGS!

The Pinwheel Princess said...

Ahhh honey, I'm sorry this has been a suck day for you. Maybe we need a heating pad party??? :o)
Stay positive, take your day and hopefully tomorrow will be better.
If not - take another day!!!
I love you!